I need to get some

I created this blog maybe a week ago, and I've been trying to think of something to write about. I've got my brand new laptop, which makes me feel very Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. But I'm just not that interesting. However, I do have a lot of thoughts and nowhere to put them, so... here we go.

I have not had sex in a long, long time. To be perfectly honest, it's been more than a year. Yes, I know. I have barely made it through this year. I have gotten some action, but that was a few months ago... (fingers and mouths, no sex). I haven't even made out with anyone in months.

You see, I attend a Christian School. Yes, I'm a high school student but before you judge... I know most teenagers say this, but I feel so much older than I am. My mother died when I was 10. I was sexually, physically and verbally abused by a boyfriend when I was 13. My older sister has been working as a prostitute and stripper for almost 2 years. So sex is kind of a regular part of life. I hear wayyy to many stories with wayyy too much information.

So, anyway. I will be going overseas in January for 6 months, and while I am determined to screw some international boys, I don't know if another 2 months is even possible. Now I know a guy who wants to fuck me. I want to fuck him too. But... I don't want my friends too know because a) the majority of them are christians are even the ones who aren't will judge me anyway, and b) he's not the sort of guy that I would... introduce to my friends. He's not hot, but when we're around each other we have this amazing chemistry.

Heres the other thing- I'm not really into do-it-yourself. I don't like servicing myself except on very, very rare occasions. So I have a lot of built up sexual tension. Getting laid would probably be a huge relief... and honestly, I'm horny.

So the question nagging me at the moment is: To bang or not to bang?

And hopefully all these blogs won't be about sex... it's just what is on my mind right now. So... 'til next time.